kk trip (april 26 to May 1) part 2

kk trip (april 26 to May 1) part 1

mt kinabalu certs

certificates issued after the climb

learning to be the right one

flipped thru the latest issue of duet magazine...came across some comments which caught my attention again...

"one should learn to be the "right" one for his or her partner, rather than asking the other person to conform to expectations."

"a relationship is not about finding the right person; it's about learning to be the right one. If someone is self-centred or controlling, it will be quite challenging to find another person to accommodate him or her."

"selecting a partner is like buying a hamper. in a hamper, there will be items you like and those you don't, but it is a total package. when you accept someone, you have to accommodate his or her strengths and weaknesses."

"sometimes third parties can "see things more clearly" than two parties involved in a relationship. ask for specific feedback and consider carefully. hopefully you are able to see things more objectively since you are out of this relationship at the moment. do use both your head and heart when deciding whether to get back together."

"whether a person loves you?-you will need to consider if his/her words, actions, behaviors are consistent. the other factor in this love equation is your feelings towards him/her."

"consider what attracts you to this guy/girl and whether he is "good life partner material" based on intrinsic and lasting things like his/her good qualities and character."

"being the right partner yourself is just as important. ask yourself what good qualities are you bringing into the relationship."

"there is not mr right or ms right, only whether one is suitable for the other. look at yourself-have an honest assessment of your own pluses and minuses, and look for someone who can help bring out the best in you and yet understand your shortcomings."

so what are the major take-aways...learn to be the right person...intrinsic and lasting qualities...

not giving up

追求爱慕的异性是很常见的说法。其实对方不喜欢你，你再怎么追也没用，对方喜欢你，根本 不需要挖空心思去追。或许真有一天他被你的诚意所打动，可最终大多还是会分手的。因为爱情不是感动，你不是他心目中的理想伴侣，即使一时接受你，将来碰上 他心仪的那一位，一样会离开你。当然，对于喜欢你的人，你还是需要花点心思去讨好他的，因为这样才像拍拖，才浪漫。

call me stubborn, call me naive...i'm not giving up just yet...not yet...

reality check....reality bites...ouch...

we trashed things out last night...spoke our minds...made our peace...

i wanted to hear the truth instead of the "it's not you, it's me" nonsense...because if it's me...i need and want to know...

so the reality is...it's me...too quiet...not matured enough...and the august date is scrapped...

my deficiency in communication skills played a part in my own undoing...and i let my insecurities get the better of me...i could not get the reassurance i needed and every single time that other guy did sthg whenever he pleases, my resilience got tested time and time again.

and this time round, i really blew it...

we're still friends...good friends...nothing more...nothing less...

incidentally...another gal pal offered me some more "girl's perspective" on the relationship topic...this time its weimei all the way from down under...hehe

"when you are comfortable with yourself... you are attractive
if you laugh at what makes you laugh.. do what you like to do... know that you are not overly autistic... and still do activities that you feel satisfied and rewarded... that's all you need to do.

when you talk to people, talk with confidence
but if listening is your strength, then listen

but good communication is not a talent
it's just techniques and techniques can be learnt

but you must learn with confidence.. with joy.. and know that it's not a bother.. Once you think learning those communication skills are a bother, then they will never become part of you.

Remember you don't have to entertain.
You can equally talk with confidence, with sensitivity, and still be a good communicator even if you can't entertain.

humor is not everyone's talent.
again, if you feel free to say whatever you think of, and dare to express it, sometimes, you will be amazed that even you can be humorous

but really.. quiet men who talks little.. but can still hold a conversation, can be sexy.. :P

when you talk with a girl, it boils down to a simple fact that you want to get to know her.
naturally, you have to be confident while being interested in her.
not being shy and still interested

girls cant read minds!!
they just know you guys are shy.. that's all..

in fact, shy guys are usually very attractive.
attractive inside.

and many girls who have substance like to listen to that part of the shy guy
you have that sensitivity... keep it in you... and use it when you talk to any person.

you know... EVERYONE has their own attractive parts
many people just don't realize that.

quiet DOESN'T mean boring.
it just means you haven't found the right audience

and we can't please everyone... even if she is gorgeous, but if she can't see that attractive part of you... then she can't see it.
then just be cool.. and remain as friends.
who knows, as times go by, maybe she can see it??

if a girl likes you, she must feel the attraction to you.. and attraction is not a choice
attraction JUST happens.

if it doesn't happen now... you can try hard... do things for her.. gifts.. services...kindness..etc.. the girl can still find you boring..

i'm a girl.. so i know..

you know.. when a guy do so much things for you.. even to tears.. if you don't feel the attraction.. you JUST don't feel it.. it can't be forced.

but when a girl finds you interesting... you don't even have to say much things..
each time you talk to her, she will just smile.
even if it's that little.

so... in other words.. just be yourself..
really.. if you have to try that hard to think what if a girl says you are boring..etc.. dude, that girl is NOT for you."

so verdict is...adrian needs help on communication techniques

a wall and a mountain

just came back from kota kinabalu yesterday...scaled mt. kinabalu and did rafting at Kiulu river...will post pics once i get them resized...

still stuck at the wall i ran into last week...tricia offered some advice from a gal's perspective which i thought was pretty meaningful...all i can do now is persevere and wait...

the "one"

met up with LeeYin and Tang for dinner last night at Seah Im hawker...

we had a good long chat about work life...relationships..it was a sthg like a "best practice" sharing session among guys...

Tang brought up the issue about "how do we know if we have met the "one"?, how do we know that we have chosen the right person?"

what i took back from the session is that somewhere out there...yes...there is a person who is a perfect match for everyone of us (i'd really like to believe that too)...but if it becomes the basis on which we search for our other half...i'd say we be forever running around in circles (unless of course you are the kind who strikes 4D every wkend)

nobody's perfect...if we keep hoping the next one will be better...when will it ever end? instead of being dulan or blaming yourself about making the "wrong" choice or that you might make the wrong choice, why not spend the effort on making things work right from the start?

we are not living in a fairy tale...there WILL be times when couples quarrel...there WILL be times when couples encounter issues which they don't agree on...there WILL be habits we have which your other half will hate...

i'm not saying we just pick anyone off the streets and say "hey let's start a relationship...if anything screws up along the way...we can work things out from there"...some "basic" requirements has to be met of course (and of course the getting to know each other part)...anything above the basic category should be considered as a bonus...

point is a target has to be set...and a decision has to be made somewhere sometime...once decided...that mentality of meeting someone better later on has GOT to be thrown out of the window...

nobody said it'd be easy...the most impt and most difficult task is taking that first step...and of course saying is one thing...doing is another...

incidentally i ran into a wall in my pursuit of happiness this week...i'll admit that the qualities i possess aren't anything spectacular...i am nice but hell, ANYONE can be nice if they wanted to...i don't speak much...was never much of a talker...

i'm alright if i don't get chosen (who am i kidding?!?!) because of me lacking in certain qualities...what i'm frustrated about is when i cannot even compare to someone who has taken someone else's care and concern for granted not once but TWO frigging times...and yet he can walk all over me with ease at anytime he pleases...

it makes me wonder if anything i do will have any impact at all...is there any point in being the good guy anymore? its like the time when the other guy walked all over me and i lost someone dear to me...deja vu all over again...wtf...

1st race for 2008

JP Morgan run...watch time 23min 56sec. gun time 24min 30sec...

chuah sai + xiao qing...4 months later

guess who's who...both of them almost same size le...well...not really actually...but xiao qing's catching up real fast

xiao qing... currently measuring 5cm...

chuah sai...currently measuring 6cm...still hides in his shell whenever u pick him up

no need to say who this is...very hyper when u pick him up

mum's latest craze

mum has already completed single faces for a few colors... i think she's trying to go for all 6 faces now...

food food food...lol

xo fish beehoon stall @ holland village



ramen shop @ cuppage

eclairs from cold storage

yoguru @ kallang leisure park


satay, saba fish, sweet potato balls @ lau pa sat

perseverance

looking thru blogs of some of my friends made me notice that mine has been getting less wordier and the entries are littered with more and more pictures...

i guess i've been getting a wee bit lazy lately when it comes to blogging...i was actually contemplating on describing my Gua Temurung itinerary when i was drafting that post a few days ago...i guess the lazy bug got the better of me...the end product was just pictures pictures pictures...hehe

as for updates in the going-ons of adrian's life...

training is narrowed down to 2 runs and 1 gym session per week...weight has finally crossed the 60kg barrier...60.4 being the heaviest i've weighed so far...

havent bought any gundams, transformers in a long long while...main reason being recent releases are of any interest to me...but yeah...havent gone this long without getting any toys...my gundam backlog is down to 8 kits...some of which i hope i can sell off...

talking abt selling...my ebay/yahoo auctions have come to a standstill as well...nothing's moving and nothing's selling...good thing is i managed to offload the whole Final Fantasy collection and all my G1 Tf(except 1) at a profit last year thru this channel...

i've applied for the UTC scholarship at work. if application goes thru, i'll be doing my Masters at NUS this coming 4th August. i've never really liked studying...simply because of exams...i'm all for acquiring knowledge and upgrading yourselves but the fact is no matter how keen you are, at the end of the day we'll be judged by how well you fare in examinations...

but i also believe that there are things in life which you have to do...EVEN if you dont like it...it's that phrase we always hear in the army..."you dont have to like it, you just have to do it"...having a Masters on hand might come in handy (among all the other PhDs and Masters holders....yeah right...) one day...no matter how tiny, it's still a small step in upping my value...

it's been almost a year since AhYee left...as a short recap...i'll just say this...i used to adore her and i was the happiest chap in the world during the few months we were together...sthg happened along the way and we had to go our separate ways...for more details plse visit my previous entries somewhere in March 2007 maybe...

the parting was hard to take at the beginning...it took me about 6 months before i decided to do sthg abt it...to pick myself up and move on...we're still friends now...she's a mom now...her son should be about 5months old now ba...

here are some of the stuff i did while moving on...

created an online profile on sdu online...signed up for msn dating...i did get to befriend 2 girls but nothing seemed to be working on the relationship side...started going out more with my colleagues at work...to some extent, i started to see some tinsy winsy bit of results...

apart from getting to experience more stuff during the outings, i have meimei as my close friend now...as for the relationship side...nothing's confirmed...i'd like to think i've made at least a little bit of progress but as always the more i want sthg to happen, the less likely it is to happen...

but the thing is in order to gain sthg, one has to work hard for it...but at the same time i've to bear in mind i cant overdo it and be too pushy...

working hard for sthg and yet not overdoing it...wanting sthg so much and yet i cannot put all my hopes on it...to question myself if what i've done is "sufficient" and yet you know there is no such thing as who should be the one giving more or receiving more when it comes to relationships...
can u imagine the irony...

but at the very least, i know i wont gain anything by just doing nothing...i know what i want and having made the mistake of giving up too early, i want to persevere this time round...

and i found this on tricia's blog:
"Sometimes, it’s that bit of perseverance that makes the difference from going on and giving up."

nobody said it'd be easy...but i do know that adrian will once again be the happiest chap in the world if everything works out in the end...

rain rain go away!

its been raining and raining for the past consecutive how many days le...sianz...
cant go running...argh...

anyways...some random photos...

more of...Gua Tempurung

more photos... courtesy of Ming...