bearing the consequences of your actions

this issue has been bugging me for the past few weeks...didnt blog it out earlier on cus i really hoped that sthg miraculous would happen...that my very own fairytale ending might come true...

but it was not to be...the scenario i've been in for the past few weeks, which i thought only happened in movies didnt end the way like those movies did...

the weekend before vday she suddenly told me she had to leave sg to go back to ipoh...but she didnt tell me the real reason then...she couldnt bear to lie to me and finally told me the following monday that she found out the previous friday that she was 1mth pregnant with her bf's baby...and it was expected of her to return home and get married and have the baby...

we have gotten closer ever since her sis went back to ipoh and i really thought i had a chance of winning her over...maybe i was too naive but the more we got together the more i couldnt bear to let her go...to see someone u like take the burden of sthg so huge at such a young age just because the bf decided to "chop" her first without even thinking about his own financial capability of supporting her AND the baby...

she is worried that life with him will be tough cus he isnt quite a saver and even told her he has no money for the wedding...but she has decided to "do the right thing" and that is to marry that bugger and have the baby...

i advised her to think abt the reason for doing this...is she marrying him because she really loves him or just because she's carrying his baby? her parents wants her to have the baby but was a little apprehensive abt letting her marry him...but they suggested to her if she could try it out first...if things dont work out she can opt for a divorce...

i was like...wtf...

she had to make a decision by last night cus her future in-laws are paying them a visit today...she told me it wont be fair to me to ask me to love a gal who already has a child and she chosed to put her happiness on the line...she is going to take the gamble on spending her life with that bugger...

i really hoped she would at least not marry that bugger...but realising that she still wants to "do what's right" i wished her well and gave her my blessings...i told her we will always be good friends...and she thanked me...

this experience for me has really drove home the point of thinking twice of what you do in life...have you really thought through it enough? will you be able to bear the consequences of your actions? will you live to regret the decisions you make?

i'm pretty sure we all make mistakes in life...some are big some are small...hopefully everyone of us will be able to at least learn sthg useful from these events...

she gave me this last saturday...it was supposed to be my '06 christmas present...she was waiting for me to ask her out and i didnt...i will live to ask myself this question..."what would have changed if i had asked her out on the christmas of '06?"