learning to be the right one

flipped thru the latest issue of duet magazine...came across some comments which caught my attention again...

"one should learn to be the "right" one for his or her partner, rather than asking the other person to conform to expectations."

"a relationship is not about finding the right person; it's about learning to be the right one. If someone is self-centred or controlling, it will be quite challenging to find another person to accommodate him or her."

"selecting a partner is like buying a hamper. in a hamper, there will be items you like and those you don't, but it is a total package. when you accept someone, you have to accommodate his or her strengths and weaknesses."

"sometimes third parties can "see things more clearly" than two parties involved in a relationship. ask for specific feedback and consider carefully. hopefully you are able to see things more objectively since you are out of this relationship at the moment. do use both your head and heart when deciding whether to get back together."

"whether a person loves you?-you will need to consider if his/her words, actions, behaviors are consistent. the other factor in this love equation is your feelings towards him/her."

"consider what attracts you to this guy/girl and whether he is "good life partner material" based on intrinsic and lasting things like his/her good qualities and character."

"being the right partner yourself is just as important. ask yourself what good qualities are you bringing into the relationship."

"there is not mr right or ms right, only whether one is suitable for the other. look at yourself-have an honest assessment of your own pluses and minuses, and look for someone who can help bring out the best in you and yet understand your shortcomings."

so what are the major take-aways...learn to be the right person...intrinsic and lasting qualities...