reality check....reality bites...ouch...

we trashed things out last night...spoke our minds...made our peace...

i wanted to hear the truth instead of the "it's not you, it's me" nonsense...because if it's me...i need and want to know...

so the reality is...it's me...too quiet...not matured enough...and the august date is scrapped...

my deficiency in communication skills played a part in my own undoing...and i let my insecurities get the better of me...i could not get the reassurance i needed and every single time that other guy did sthg whenever he pleases, my resilience got tested time and time again.

and this time round, i really blew it...

we're still friends...good friends...nothing more...nothing less...

incidentally...another gal pal offered me some more "girl's perspective" on the relationship topic...this time its weimei all the way from down under...hehe

"when you are comfortable with yourself... you are attractive
if you laugh at what makes you laugh.. do what you like to do... know that you are not overly autistic... and still do activities that you feel satisfied and rewarded... that's all you need to do.

when you talk to people, talk with confidence
but if listening is your strength, then listen

but good communication is not a talent
it's just techniques and techniques can be learnt

but you must learn with confidence.. with joy.. and know that it's not a bother.. Once you think learning those communication skills are a bother, then they will never become part of you.

Remember you don't have to entertain.
You can equally talk with confidence, with sensitivity, and still be a good communicator even if you can't entertain.

humor is not everyone's talent.
again, if you feel free to say whatever you think of, and dare to express it, sometimes, you will be amazed that even you can be humorous

but really.. quiet men who talks little.. but can still hold a conversation, can be sexy.. :P

when you talk with a girl, it boils down to a simple fact that you want to get to know her.
naturally, you have to be confident while being interested in her.
not being shy and still interested

girls cant read minds!!
they just know you guys are shy.. that's all..

in fact, shy guys are usually very attractive.
attractive inside.

and many girls who have substance like to listen to that part of the shy guy
you have that sensitivity... keep it in you... and use it when you talk to any person.

you know... EVERYONE has their own attractive parts
many people just don't realize that.

quiet DOESN'T mean boring.
it just means you haven't found the right audience

and we can't please everyone... even if she is gorgeous, but if she can't see that attractive part of you... then she can't see it.
then just be cool.. and remain as friends.
who knows, as times go by, maybe she can see it??

if a girl likes you, she must feel the attraction to you.. and attraction is not a choice
attraction JUST happens.

if it doesn't happen now... you can try hard... do things for her.. gifts.. services...kindness..etc.. the girl can still find you boring..

i'm a girl.. so i know..

you know.. when a guy do so much things for you.. even to tears.. if you don't feel the attraction.. you JUST don't feel it.. it can't be forced.

but when a girl finds you interesting... you don't even have to say much things..
each time you talk to her, she will just smile.
even if it's that little.

so... in other words.. just be yourself..
really.. if you have to try that hard to think what if a girl says you are boring..etc.. dude, that girl is NOT for you."

so verdict is...adrian needs help on communication techniques